How can I focus on my school paper if negative thoughts keep popping in my head? I can't NOT blame myself for all these after-effects that I'm soaking myself into. This is all my fault.

I can barely stand 2 chapters of my book, can hardly compose a paragraph for my school paper that is due next week, and getting updates about the fishkill incident (the topic for my DEVC class) gets dragging.

How am I supposed to get through this semester if I keep procrastinating and neglecting my responsibilities? Let alone finish all four semesters with good grades? This is not the version of me I like.

Needing to pick my game up,

Dreams Come True Everyday

Mouth: Take a look at yourself in a mirror who do you see looking back?
Haley: Is it the person you want to be?
Dan: Or is there someone else you were meant to be but fell short of?
Mia: Is someone telling you you can’t or won’t? Because you can.
Chase: Believe that love is out there.
Nathan: Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.
Peyton: Sometimes happiness doesn’t come from money or fame or power. Sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family and the quiet nobility of leading a good life.
Julian: Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.
Brooke: Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.
Peyton: So take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy because you deserve to be. Believe that.
Lucas: And believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.

Talaga Ba?

I can still recall James saying this about me: "Sometimes you just over-do it . You assume, you EXPECT! TOO MUCH!"

Time Has A Way of Healing

Holy Week. Holy Crap. Those times when the hate and pain succumb me to endless despondency, felt like having burned wounds smashed open day in day out. It's not the best feeling in the world (unless you're a masochist which I'm not) so I try hard to consign everything to oblivion. But still, the pain is too much that even a breeze of the wind gives a sting.

I gave my mind a break, left everything to the gentle hands of time. Little did I know that those hands slyly crawl up to the scabs and chafe them until it felt like the healing process needs to start all over again. My wounds are exposed for all the world to see so once again, I need to put them out of the way, keep mum about things that makes my insides want to flare up, and maybe try for the nth time not to let the pain show. Sadly, it has become a cycle too familiar that I know it so well. Too well it seems that it keeps haunting my thoughts.

They say time has a way of healing but maybe my time hasn't arrived just yet.