Probably there are millions of English words, but I wonder why there are so much words used to express joy, bliss, and happiness yet none can really suffice and encapsulate the most exquisite type of pain.
I demand the English language experts to come up with a word that can describe that complicated mental state of loving someone to a great degree that it hurts; when that person is a resident in your thought box but you also loathe them because they treated you wrong; when you have that strong feeling of care for someone who was too weak to be honest with you, at the very least. I don't know what's the word for that, but I feel it anyway.
Isn't there a word for realizing you are worth less than you thought you were? No, 'despair' isn't even too strong a word for this feeling.
Also, I need a word for that feeling when you're just so fed up of being sad, affected, and you just want to give up all those pretend-I'm-alright games but somehow you don't know how to stop being that.
That feeling of having a gaping hole in your chest because you can't accept the fact that you've been done wrong and that other people can never understand how much you're hurting, there should be something in the English dictionary that means just that.
When you feel a sickening twist in your tummy because hints of the bitter past are resurfacing and closing your eyes won't even help you forget because you just tend to see things more vividly with your eyes closed. What's that word again? It should be synonymous with 'misery that drags you on from the insides'. No, it's not 'melancholy'. The word I'm looking for should have a more tragic vibe into it.
There should be a word to describe all these feelings. If there were, it would be easier to tell someone how you feel without having to fall into false pretense because you failed to express how deep-rooted that feeling of grief is.
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