Just like how David Sedaris Puts It

Me Talk Pretty One Day

• "When shit brings you down, just say ‘fuck it’, and eat yourself some motherfucking candy."
• "But that’s what fantasies are for; they allow you to skip the degradation and head straight to the top."
  
• "We lacked the ability to think for ourselves and resented having to admit it."
  
• "If you aren’t cute, you may as well be clever."
  
• "At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me."
  

When You Are Engulfed in Flames

• "Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive."
  
• "Most people would have found it grotesque, but when you’re in love nothing is so abstract or horrible that it can’t be thought of as cute."
  
• "Sometimes the sins you haven’t committed are all you have left to hold onto"
  
• "Look at yourself on the day that you graduated from college, then look at yourself today. I did that recently, and it was like, ‘Yikes! What the hell happened?’ The answer, of course, is life..stuff comes up. Weird doors open. People fall into things."
  

I'm currently reading Mark Haddon's The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and came across this:

“I like it when it rains hard. It sounds like white noise everywhere, which is like silence but not empty.”

...because I've never felt more lonely.

I'll Get There

I read somewhere that the past cannot be changed, forgotten, or erased... it can only be accepted.

It's true that what happened in the past cannot be altered or be completely erased but after sometime, it can start to mean less, and hopefully be forgotten. For some, forgetting can come easily but unfortunately some people dwell on it a little longer than usual. It's heartbreaking to realize I am someone who lets the past linger on for a while. Based on my experience, forgetting comes after acceptance. I've tried, in every sense of the word, to understand and process things. One thing I may be doing wrong is resisting it; suppressing every hint of emotion that coincides with the past which is probably the reason why things keep resurfacing in my head. And since it will be very unfair to go around blaming people for my misery, I tend to keep everything inside. I don't want to be regarded as the bitter, weaker one. Unfortunately, things pop up in my head and makes me think how stupid I was and how vulnerable I allowed myself to be, and how easily shaken my core is. Since it succumbs me in a demeaning yet very subtle way, even I don't recognize how affected I still am. Until times like this occur. Times when I start questioning the things I believe in, wondering if I got the facts right or I'm still drowned in deceit. But my friend was right when she told me that I should not let things that I have no control of bother me. Sure she's right, but it's just that there are days when I don't feel brave enough to ACCEPT that things happen beyond my control. Maybe it's because of my stupid pride or because something inside me died that day. Whatever that is, I know I can understand, accept, and overcome it. I just need a little bit more time. :)

Accept the past as past without denying it or discarding it. Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others. -- Tuesdays with Morrie #notetoself

OH. FUCK.