Delusions

So last night, there I was, giving out love and relationship advices I didn't even know that I know.  Even I am surprised to hear myself talk to them about how to not just make a relationship last, but how to not let it end.

I remember telling them that to keep the relationship and stick to your commitment, both should be delusional. Delusional in a sense that they won't let the insignificant things taint the relationship, nor be a threat to end it. They argued with me at how being too delusional can lead you to eventually fooling yourself. I didn't mean it that way. I refer to delusions as just remembering what you loved in that person so at the time when changes start to paint in, the love you have for them won't be drawn out of the picture. It's really just a matter of believing that buried deep inside that whole new being is the same person you adore.

Another thing I had to emphasize is the importance of lowering down their expectations. I didn't say "settle for second best and just live with what's right in front of you", I simply wanted them to stick closely to reality. It's because I think that wanting something (or someone for that matter) desperately or hoping for it relentlessly can put their lives in a trance. When we expect too much and live within those expectations, we tend to conceive something more than what reality can provide. It's not so wise to dwell in fantasy because real people don't exist in fantasies. And these fantasies can, in turn, beseech for us the impossibilities we can't handle if we're drowned in our expectations. The world condemns such irrational frivolity through disappointments.

Combining delusions with lowered expectations can get tricky, but that's how it works (in my opinion). So I think the secret lies on knowing when to forget things, and when to not notice them in the first place. Sometimes, you have to fool yourself, because otherwise you will just be fooling yourself that you're trying to make things work. It's one thing to keep the commitment because you love each other, and another to keep the commitment DESPITE anything. I believe that a relationship fails not because unfavorable things happen, but because someone stopped trying to make it work. Remember: It takes two to tango.

Luckily for me, our relationship works because (1) we both want to make it work, (2) there are no inhibitions whatsoever, and (3) we're awesome like that. LOL. Just kidding. But yeah, we're awesome :)))))